i didnt know that these 4 words "有缘无份" will be used in my life...

such an irony.. such a craving..

but.. i haf to control.. control.. from being a 3rd party...

thru the days there were times that i thought of u.. but i juz swallowed down the painful fact, kicked the memories off me n get back to my work.. that is how i lived.. i believed u r like that as well..

its a sunday today.. at church today i cried, the pple in the cell-group saw.. y? bcz the teachers words/speech has moved the holy spirit in me.. all the words were like daggers so accurately stabbing into me.. it was all the feelings tht i have been feeling all these while.. mani times at that moment i juz closed my ears bcz if i continue to listen my tears will be never-ending..

i nid to get back my focus in life.. my path with God.. i cannot be alwaz pushed into the society, and let the society build me in the way tht "it" wants me to be... i shld listen to God's words, build back my faith, and live a life to glorify Him.. as Ultimately.. i am answerable to Him...

-let me be a child fearing God..

jeez~ im supposed to be studying for my last test tomoro... im such a goner~~

Just calculated the days to write this post... It is only day 11??!!! why does it seems like we have ended this so long agoo?? feel so far from you.. feel that its been AGES since we met..

time is always an irony.. bcz on the other hand.. your warmth and hugs that you given seems like it was just yesterday..

i know if i continue to keep in contact n meet u.. it will be much harder for us to end this.. n the whole relationship will be complicated.. but i dun wan us to be total strangers.. i wan to keep in contact with u.. to know hows everything for u.. maybe bcz we were never frenz as it was onli 3 days we know each other that we entered into the relationship..

would u prefer that im not in contact with u? can we just be frenz? i duno wad i wan yet.. i juz feels that i cannot fall back into the relationship with u, till i sort out wad i reallie wan.. otherwise it will be unfair to u.. n the whole ordeal might happen again...

-sighs-