I am deproving.. Yes I am... I have lose concentration.. Have insomnia.. and so mani tings are happening and i am trying to pick myself uP.. Hoping Lord and Praying to Him to gif me a hand to get me out of all these.. sigh.. what is wrong with me why I can't I just concentrate.. are there any drugs out there to calm myself down.. not feel stressed and depressed... and so that I can be able to concentrate better? I sure need those.. sigh i guess i beta catch an early slp.. to gif mi strength and energy to concentrate beta tml yahx... hMmmmm..

I MIND!!! I mind e way pple treat me and tok to me.. Maybe I ain't well afterall.. simpLy nobody luvs me.. when i myself dun luv myself, am disgusted bout mi, everything about mi.. I am feeling moody and sucky once again.. why m i so easily affected.. simply who m i? my mind is alwaz in a whirl, tinking of so mani mani tings.. siGh.. i m realli tired.. yearning for everyone liking.. but i noe tt is impossible.. m i tinking too much.. maybe.. but i cant stop myself from tinking tt much.. no one will understand.. i m in a lost state.. sum tings i juz cannot mention... wad is wrng with me... so mani tings.... so mani tings....... i hate life.. how i wish i was not put on earth... I wish........................

y do we change.. how i wish to be everyone's listener.. how i wish everyone of my frend when they are with me, they can take off their mask n be their trueself speak what they want to speak.. proB i ain't a right person to tok to.. God prob didnt gif me this gift to be someone approchable.. but i alwaz feel e burden to approach to speak when i c sum1 who is burdened..
sigh.. its a wonder y when u r with different pple u juz act differently.. y cant humans juz be who they are? y do pple hv to compete with one another.. i admit all these i hv stated i myself is 1 of them.. tt y i end up crying when i feel so disgusted with myself for all the sins I have done thinking y m i not perfect.. howeva i m blessed to noe tt I have a dear Father in heaven who sent Jesus to wash awae my sins.. To noe that I am not condemned.. to noe that 1 day i be perfect when I am in heaven.. Many tings are too abstract we nv understand and all bcz we humans are limited in our thinking.. way too limited.. n we r foolish to only believe when we see evidence.. siGh.. those who remain ignorant.. hopefully 1 day during the end days.. they may think back now n repent.. by then they still hv a chance.. but life be hard.. pls rmb when 1 day pple start to be missing.. rmb the words i m mentioning now..

there are siMply many tings out der tt u can nv finish envying bout.. but sumtyMz when u sit bck n tink bout it.. wad others may hv u duN hv.. n wad u hv others may not hv.. n wadeva it is juz thank God for whatever He has given u n shower u with.. count your blessings, n jUz stoP complaining.. yer.. when u tink bout tis u will be more happI..
dar is going back in today again.. it is alwaz like tis i juz hate sundays... siGh.. he is going back in later at 1015 meaning he shld reach bunk bout midnight? guess he be damn tired.. siGh.. he realli treats me well n is simPly reallY nice 2 mi.. n everytym tt happens i juz cant hLp but love him more n hope he nv get out of my sigHt.. wishing i can huG him every second... siGh.. buT tt makes mi veri sticky, as wherever he is on weekends I just want to follow him.. sigh.. dunO.. how m i going to live the days in aussie nxt yr.. i hope we can get over the 9mths fast!
tml sch reopen.. suddenly i dread sch n wan holidays to be still arnd.. tis tues is my TP test.. hope tings go well n i shall pass. *pray hard*
there r simplY TOO MANY.. i sae TOO MANY tings whirling in my mind.. i m confused once again... I m sighhhhhh.................................